Talk to me….not

Everyone is different. I always think that I have different perspective and opinion about something. But, I also think that human are not really different to each other. Somehow at some point, we can relate. So I would like to share this and find out if there are also people who are feeling the same.

An Introvert’s confession

I am never good at being in new environment and meeting new people. Before, I was super bad, now I am just bad. I can encounter one-on-one conversation with new person now, or being in small group. But, being in big group of new people….no, I feel so stressed that I could cry. Though I like to be in public place and observe people, I become really bad at communicating with them.

Since elementary school, every first week of the new class year I would just sit on the corner. And try not to talk to anyone. One time when I was in senior high, I even didn’t get out of the class during the break just because I didn’t want to talk to people. The irony was I was actually hungry at that time. I am still struggling with that, the last time I cried because I felt so awkward it was making me stressed and thought why the hell I was there at that time :”(

Oh well, for my friends out there who are feeling the same, I have small tips for you (as I am still trying to find out the big tips too! lol)

What we can do

  1. Breathe – it may sound nothing, but most of the time I feel that I couldn’t breathe and there is something pushing my chest.
  2. Smile – yeah, still nothing, but without me realizing, it is expressed in my face that I am not feeling okay, then people will come to me and ask me questions, then I feel more not comfortable, then it just get worse.
  3. See another person who is alone in the room – and try to talk to him/her. This will distract me with the fact that I am surrounded by other people. And slowly I can be comfortable being in the environment.

I have never really look for more information about what kind of behavior this is, I don’t really want to put a label on it. But, sometimes it bothers me if it really put me into stress. If anyone out there can relate, know that you are not alone 🙂